


I Will Always Love You

by jazmine8448



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cuddling, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Unconditional Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-16
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-08-31 09:58:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8573893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jazmine8448/pseuds/jazmine8448
Summary: So Dean and Castiel has finally managed to get together, but have not yet had sex. 
This night, there have been kisses, touching, removal of clothes and it seems to go all the way … but Cas panics a bit, and can’t go through with it. He doesn’t say ‘stop’ or anything, but Dean notices that something is wrong, they stop, calm down, and end up just sleeping close to each other that night.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I was going through my Drive when I found this that I had previously written for this prompt here at that spn kink meme:
> 
> http://spnkink-meme.livejournal.com/66638.html?thread=21121102#t21121102
> 
> I did go through it and cleaned it up from my initial posting, but I hope you all enjoy.

Dean pulled Cas into his bedroom, shutting the door behind them with a soft click. Dragging him gently over to the bed and laying him down on it.

He hovered over Cas, taking in the sight of the beautiful man he was finally allowed to call his. After being friends for years and pining over him, wanting to be with him, he was now getting his chance.

Today was the day of their six month anniversary of officially being together and Dean had had the whole day planned out for a week. He had woken up earlier than usual and made Cas a breakfast of eggs, toast and bacon with a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice. After breakfast Dean had brought them to the park, Cas’ favorite place. They spent the entire afternoon just walked around, holding hands, and simply enjoying each other's presence while taking in all the scenes of the park; Cas really enjoyed watching the bees. Castiel couldn’t of thought of a more perfect date.

Their evening finished up with Dean taking him back to his apartment where he made him a lasagna dinner and watched a movie on the couch. However there was more kissing going on than movie watching, which is what led the couple to their current positions.

Dean leaned down and brushed his lips softly to the man's beneath him in a just barely there kiss. After a few seconds he pressed down on them more firmly, loving the feel of his scruff scratching against his own, before sliding his tongue across Cas’ bottom lip. Cas opened his mouth and Dean couldn’t stop the moan that escaped him as he slipped his tongue inside the warm cavern of Cas’ mouth, exploring every crevice, wanting to memorize every bit.

Cas reached out and put his hands on Dean’s shoulders, hesitantly pulling him down so he could feel him. 

“Cas.” Dean said breathlessly as he pulled away, making Cas’ hands fall to his sides. He looked down into the blue eyes that he fell in love with, silently asking if this was okay. 

Cas hesitated, biting down on his lower lip. After a few seconds he nodded and Dean gave the biggest smile he could before kissing him again.

As they kissed Dean's hands began to roam, sliding under Cas’ blue button down, running up and down his sides, feeling his smooth skin.

Cas’ whole body shivered, Dean thought it was from pleasure and kept going, kissing him a little more urgently, trying to pour all of his emotions into it.

Castiel knew that it was Dean with him, that Dean loved him and would take care of him, he would never hurt him. He trusts Dean completely. However as the pair continued he couldn’t help but remember other hands on him, touching him when he didn’t want to be touched. Lips kissing him when he didn't want to be kissed. Being violated in every sense of the word.

His body trembled a little and he prayed Dean didn’t notice because he wanted to do this, wanted to be with the man he loved, to be able to give himself completely to Dean, but with every gentle caress he remembered a touch that was rough and forceful.

He hated himself for thinking about it.

Dean’s hands had stopped their exploration and moved to undo the buttons on Cas’ shirt. 

“Gorgeous.” Dean breathed as he took in the sight of Cas’ naked torso when the button down was gone. He then removed his own shirt, stomach muscles twitching as Cas placed his hand on it, tracing the lines between his abs with the gentlest of touches.

Dean glanced at Cas’ face, an unreadable expression on it. He placed a finger under Cas’ chin, raising it so he could look him in the eye, noticing a small flicker of fear in his blue eyes.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this? We can stop.” Cas didn’t want to ruin Deans night. He had worked so hard to make it special and here he was messing it all up. Like usual.

“I’m okay.” He lied. “Please continue.” He said with a small unconvincing smile before bucking his hips up, his covered erection bumping with Dean's own. The friction caused Dean to groan.

Dean began kissing Cas again, not just his lips but everywhere his own lips could reach, not leaving a single place on his upper body untouched.

It was when he began unbuttoning Cas’ jeans a few minutes later that Dean felt the full on tremor that Cas’ body took on that made him pause again, looking at Cas once more and gasping when he noticed the full frightened face that Cas couldn’t hide anymore. It was that and the silent tear that was rolling down his cheek that Dean decided that Cas was most definitely not okay, no matter what he said.

“Cas-” He began, only to be cut off.

“I’m okay Dean, really.” He tried to buck his hips up again but Dean was faster and moved off of him.

“Don’t Cas. Don’t lie to me, I can tell this is bothering you.” He reached up and wiped the tear off of his face as if to prove his point.

“Dean please.” Cas tried to counter as another tear fell. Dean shook his head and stood up from the bed. Cas sat up a hurt expression on his face which made Dean want to crawl back onto the bed with him but knew it would just hurt Cas even worse in the end, even if he won’t admit it. 

“I’m sorry.” Cas said eventually after a long silenced passed. Dean’s face softened as he saw his best friend fall apart before him. He decided it was safe to sit down beside him on the bed and wrapped his arms around him. 

Cas buried his head in Dean’s chest as more tears fell silently. 

Dean felt the warm tears fall on him but he didn’t care as he held Cas in his arms, whispering to him soothingly.

Neither of them knew how much time had passed but at some point Dean had maneuvered them so they were laying down again, side by side. Cas’ head still on Dean’s chest with Dean rubbing circles on his back.

“I’m sorry.” Cas repeated when his tears eventually stopped.

“What for?” Dean asked softly, feeling Cas take in a shaky breath.

“For ruining your night.” He whispered.

“Cas look at me.” Cas didn’t. “Please.” Dean pleaded. 

After a moment Cas complied. Dean looked directly into Cas’ eyes, green locking on blue before saying anything.

“Listen to me when I say that you didn’t ruin anything, okay? I could see that something was wrong.”

“But,” Cas tried to protest.

“But nothing,” Dean interrupted. “I don’t blame you, and nothing was ruined. This,” He gently squeezed Cas in his arms to show what he meant. “is enough for me. Just being here with you is enough.”

Cas drew in another shaky breath. “Dean please believe me when I say I want to, because I really do. It’s just that I,” He swallowed hard at the lump that formed in his throat. “I’m not sure I can.” He finished in a whisper, voice breaking on the last word. 

“It’s just.” He tried to explain, but found himself struggling to do so, looking at Dean with new tears shining in his eyes.

“Shh, you don’t have to tell me anything.” Dean said. “And we don’t have to do anything. I’ve waited five years, since the day we met, to have you and I can wait even longer if I have to. I love you Cas.” Cas smiled a small genuine smile at Dean’s words.

“I love you too.” Dean could help but kiss him, soft and sweet. 

They held onto each other and fell asleep that way after a while, both content just being in the arms of the one they loved most.


End file.
